Followed by a fairy

image

The day before we left to go on our holiday, we were sat discussing what we wanted to do and I suddenly felt something tickle my arm. I jumped thinking it was a fly, but it turned out to be a thistledown, or a ‘fairy’ as my mum used to call them when I was little, that had floated into the house. We all laughed. It was the first one I’d seen this year.

Continue reading

The reality of performing CPR on my own child

When Abi died, it was very peaceful and controlled. But when she collapsed at home, in our bedroom, we went from calm to extreme panic in a matter of minutes. I was reading to my other daughter, my son was lying in his bed drifting off. My husband was looking after Abi in our bedroom, as she’d been sick.

All of a sudden he appeared at my daughter’s bedroom door with a look of fear in his eyes, and told me she needed me, really needed me. I felt concerned but still at that point believed it was just a bug and a mummy cuddle would make it all better… but suddenly the peace of our home turned into screams and panic. My screams. My panic.

Continue reading

Did puberty trigger my daughter’s death?

My middle daughter came home from school yesterday with a pretty box stuffed full of sanitary towels and tampons. They’d had the end-of-year talk about sex and periods.

My daughter wasn’t fussed. She’s quite happy to wait to grow up and, while she knows periods will happen at some point, she’s in no hurry and would rather be dreaming of ponies. However, as I took the box out of her book bag, my grief hit me again. I was taken back to July 2012 when Abi had had the same class talk. Continue reading

National Transplant Week – Abi’s organ donation update

This week is National Transplant Week, and I’ve just changed my profile picture in support of the campaign (see here to do the same) and I thought it a perfect opportunity to share the outcome of Abi’s organ donation. Continue reading

Choosing a memorial stone for your child

In my last post, I talked about the day we interred Abi’s ashes at our local cemetery, and how we had to wait some time for her memorial stone to be made. Choosing and buying a memorial stone is one of the last things you can do for your lost loved one. It’s a very personal decision and there are a number of things to consider so I have asked our stonemason to share some tips on how to make the process as smooth as possible…

Continue reading

Dust to dust – interring Abi’s ashes

Following on from My Great Loves guest post about turning back into dust, I wanted to share our experience of interring Abi’s ashes.

Choosing a burial or cremation is a decision I really wasn’t prepared for when Abi died. I knew she’d died and that we’d have to have a funeral, but I just didn’t consider the speed at which we needed to decide which method of burial we wanted. If we chose cremation then her body could be brought home from the hospital much faster than if we wanted her buried (paperwork!).

Continue reading

Guest post: Returning to dust

My Great Loves is a blog I came across on WordPress Reader. This military wife and mother lost her darling first born son, ‘Gift’, age 12 in a tragic accident. She blogs anonymously about her ‘loves’ – her husband and children, her grief and family life. I have been moved by her touching honesty and the way she blogs about how her faith has been her strength. I find her faith inspiring and she kindly agreed to write something for me about how death is not the end.

Continue reading