I’ve been planning for a long time a way to support grieving parents in the early months of their loss. Those days are like a car crash, where panic sets in, shock and fear overcome every aspect of life and even breathing is difficult.
The resource is a journal called ‘Life without you’, which will guide you through any stage during those first months and years of grief. It is still in the early design stages but is coming together brilliantly and will be available spring 2018!
It is not advised to have therapy for around six months, to allow you time to adjust in some way to the shock of grief, and this is advised for a reason. However, you need some kind of outlet (blogging is one of them). Yet, not everyone is a writer, not everyone finds themselves able to string words together when they feel most vulnerable.
This resource will guide you through gently; the pages will be designed so there’s no blank page to overwhelm you. It will offer a space to explore, to vent, to offload, when it’s impossible to do this in other ways (I found I quickly clammed up around family as a way to protect them from upset).
It will also provide a lasting memorial of those early days, which are crucial to your life and how it will be going forward. Just like your child’s birth is marked with joy and celebration, a million photos and gifts, your child’s death has a place to be remembered in detail.
This journal won’t help you ‘get over’ anything, the only cure for grief is to grieve. But it will support you in your adjustment to a new normal. Whatever that is.
Part of the journal will include some of the common areas of life that are impacted by the loss and the grief: work life, marriage, faith etc. (Note, I am openly Christian, but this journal will not be about religion. Grief opens up this area so it is an invitation for you to review what you believe alongside all your other emotions.) I hear from so many bereaved parents – whether they have lost a pregnancy, an infant or an adult child – and each has different focus in these areas.
I really value the comments and messages I receive and I would like to include some of them in my book, which I hope will offer a wider view of child loss rather than just my experience. I hope the book gives comfort to those who find themselves in this grief club.
I would very much appreciate if you could complete the questionnaire below and send it to me. I would welcome any comments on any part of it, and especially if you have advice you would share with someone else going through the same thing.
It will be confidential except for your first name and country. I would also like to include the first name of your child and their age when they died (please leave blank if you don’t want this). I receive the form by email and I will respond to you by email. Any contributions I use in the journal will receive a complimentary copy of the journal. Thank you!
There is also a waiting list option on the sidebar of my blog. If you would like to be contacted when the journal is ready, or know someone who might, please leave a name and email and I will be in touch. Oh, and I will be posting updates and support on the 100days Instagram feed and my own Facebook page.