Guidance for schools, hospitals, hospices and counselling services in the UK and US.
The Dragonfly Story is widely used by teachers, counsellors, paediatric teams and bereavement organisations who need a gentle, age-appropriate way to help children understand death. Its soft imagery and clear language make difficult conversations feel safer, calmer and more manageable.
A note on the story: the book opens and closes with the author’s own experience of sibling loss, but the dragonfly fable at its heart was written to speak to any loss — a parent, grandparent, friend or pet, as well as a brother or sister. It’s worth reading the story yourself first, so you can gently frame it for the specific child and loss you’re supporting.
This article offers practical guidance for professionals supporting children and families through grief.
Why the story works in professional settings
Children often struggle to understand death because it is abstract, frightening or confusing. The dragonfly metaphor offers a natural, reassuring way to explain change, absence and continued love.
Professionals value the story because it:
- Uses simple, honest language
- Avoids frightening metaphors
- Encourages safe conversation
- Supports emotional regulation
- Helps children ask questions
- Creates a shared understanding between adults and children
It is suitable for children of many ages, for any kind of loss, and for diverse cultural and faith backgrounds.
Using the story in schools
Teachers, pastoral teams and safeguarding leads often use The Dragonfly Story when supporting pupils after a bereavement.
How to use it in a school setting
- Read the story with the child in a quiet, safe space
- If the child’s loss isn’t a sibling, briefly explain that the story’s framing can apply just as gently to their own loss
- Allow pauses for questions or feelings
- Use the dragonfly metaphor to explain what has happened
- Reassure the child that their feelings are normal
- Offer follow-up activities such as drawing, gentle conversation or quiet reflection
- Share the story with parents or carers so everyone uses the same language
When schools find it helpful
- A pupil has lost a sibling, parent, grandparent, friend or pet
- A classmate has died and the school needs a gentle explanation
- Children return to school after a bereavement
- Staff need a calm, consistent way to talk about death
Using the story in hospitals and paediatric care
Paediatric nurses, NICU teams and hospital bereavement staff often use the story to support families during the most difficult moments.
How to use it in medical settings
- Read the story with siblings, or with any child confused or frightened by a loss
- Offer it to parents who want a gentle way to explain death
- Use the metaphor to help children understand why their loved one cannot return
- Provide the book as part of bereavement support packs
- Share it during quiet moments with families who need emotional grounding
Why hospitals value it
- It is gentle and non-clinical
- It helps staff communicate difficult truths
- It supports families who may be overwhelmed
- It offers a soft way to begin conversations about grief
Using the story in counselling and therapy
Counsellors, therapists and bereavement practitioners in both the UK and US use The Dragonfly Story to help children process grief safely.
How to use it therapeutically
- Read the story together as a grounding exercise
- Invite the child to talk about the dragonfly’s journey
- Use the metaphor to explore feelings of change, absence and love
- Encourage the child to draw their own dragonfly or waterbug
- Revisit the story over multiple sessions to support emotional processing
Why therapists use it
- It creates emotional safety
- It helps children express feelings indirectly
- It reduces fear and confusion
- It supports long-term grief work
Supporting siblings
Siblings often grieve differently from adults. The story helps them understand what has happened without overwhelming them — and its opening and closing pages, framed around sibling loss, can feel especially close to home for a grieving brother or sister.
You can support siblings by:
- Reading the story together
- Allowing repeated questions
- Offering gentle reassurance
- Using the dragonfly metaphor consistently
- Encouraging creative expression (drawing, storytelling, play)
Cultural and faith sensitivity
The story is gentle, inclusive and suitable for diverse communities. It does not assume any specific belief system, making it appropriate for:
- Faith-based schools
- Chaplaincy teams
- Pastoral ministries
- Community grief groups
- Secular counselling services
For UK and US professionals
Both UK and US institutions use The Dragonfly Story widely. It is shared by:
- Schools and pastoral teams
- Paediatric wards and NICUs
- Hospices and palliative care teams
- Therapists and counsellors
- Bereavement groups and charities
If your organisation needs guidance or bulk orders, please email: CDOffice@virginmedia.com
Purchase
Kindle edition also available.
Bulk discounts available on UK orders, contact CDOffice@virginmedia.com
Contact
If you need help using the story in your professional setting, you are welcome to get in touch. CDOffice@virginmedia.com
