Category Archives: Special days and occasions

Supporting a bereaved parent at Christmas

This time of year can be fraught with emotion and grief for those who have lost loved ones, particularly if that death is of a child. For those whose birthdays are also this side of Christmas, it can seem like a double grief. Memories of Christmas past, thoughts of Christmas present, and worries for Christmas...

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A letter to my daughter on her 24th heavenly birthday

To Abi, It’s suddenly your 24th birthday and each year it hits me a bit different. This year, I realised that you are now the same age I was when I had you. It’s been hard to balance that fact in my mind. At once I am transported back to those heady, happy days of...

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Halloween – Trauma or treat?

I no longer buy into the commercialisation of the celebration of evil, horror and fear. Stick a bit of sparkle on a witch’s costume and it makes everything OK, right? It’s only fake. But I have seen blood pouring from my dying child’s mouth. I have seen the death behind the glassy eyes. I have...

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You don’t have to ‘get over’ your grief just because it’s Christmas

It’s no surprise that Christmas is a difficult time for the grieving. For us, the period begins with Abi’s birthday at the end of November, we then have the four weeks until Christmas and then New Year, followed not long afterwards by the anniversary of the time we lost her. Next February will be four...

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Guest post: Thoughts of loss and hope at Christmas

(Jo Powell kindly shared this moving reflection some years ago. Sadly, Jo died in April 2023. I still miss her joyful face and caring nature very much. She was a very special human.) I was pacing the landing with my teething baby at 3am last night and all I could think of was you. As...

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A letter to you on your sixteenth birthday 

I pause before even writing a word as the thought of you turning 16 in heaven breaks my heart all over again. I’m sorry sweetheart. I know you are safe, I feel that, but I feel so lost without you near me. You’re the one who is safe, I’m the one running scared. My mind...

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Coping with Christmas after the death of your child

I’m aware I’ve not written since Abi’s birthday, and there’s a reason. Like last year, I’ve found myself lost in a blur of grief and unable to write at all. It’s almost like there is so much to say that it’s impossible to write clearly. Sometimes I find that life is back in focus and...

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You are my sunshine – a birthday poem

My darling Abi, I recall you lying on your changing mat when you were a tiny baby Those early months just you and me while Daddy was at work Finding my feet with this miraculous little person Who had grown inside me for nine months I found I would sing ‘You are my sunshine’ to...

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Halloween just got scary

[I didn’t post this blog about Halloween at the time, I suppose to avoid offending anyone or to put a damper on the fun, but reading back on it, it’s certainly worth sharing. It’s not a major worry for me now, and who knows how I’ll feel about it in the years to come, but...

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It’s our crystal wedding anniversary!

Today, my husband and I celebrate 15 years of wedded bliss. 15 years, wow! I can still remember how I felt back then, 15th May 1999; how nervous I was on our wedding day, but how certain I was too. We always mark our anniversaries. We think it’s our special day to remind ourselves where...

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