Category Archives: Living and grieving

Losing a child, two years on – fear and vulnerability

Two years on from the day we lost Abi (10th February) is approaching and I feel like I’m spinning in an endless cycle of grief. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m not. Over and over and over again. I’ve come to realise that as well as grieving her, the girl, my first-born, I’m grieving...

Abi’s Black Belt

On this day, two years ago, Abi fulfilled a four-year-long ambition… to earn her junior black belt in Kung Fu. Continue reading → Share this:Tweet Email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

As the sun sets on New Year’s Eve, I see hope for tomorrow

As per my post earlier this month, most people will understand that this time of year is very difficult for me and trying to cope with Christmas festivities without Abi is something I (and my family) have again had to bear and get through. New Year’s Eve is equally painful. I don’t even want to...

What my grief would say if it could talk

Grief has become both my friend and my foe since Abi died… I need it to feel close to her, yet loathe it for taking over me. What would your grief say? Share this:Tweet Email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email

Coping with Christmas after the death of your child

I’m aware I’ve not written since Abi’s birthday, and there’s a reason. Like last year, I’ve found myself lost in a blur of grief and unable to write at all. It’s almost like there is so much to say that it’s impossible to write clearly. Sometimes I find that life is back in focus and...

You are my sunshine – a birthday poem

My darling Abi, I recall you lying on your changing mat when you were a tiny baby Those early months just you and me while Daddy was at work Finding my feet with this miraculous little person Who had grown inside me for nine months I found I would sing ‘You are my sunshine’ to...

The final prognosis

On the morning of Saturday, 9th February, we were allowed into PICU while the doctors did their formal assessment of Abi’s condition. We knew these were ‘last chance’ tests. Abi had been in a coma for over 48 hours. She’d shown very little response since her collapse other than coughing a couple of times and...

I dreamt of you

In my morning sleep, the sleep before the day begins, I saw you Clear, real, here You were standing on the landing, in the doorway to our bedroom. From my bed, I talked to you Like I used to You up and ready for the day Me rousing from sleep You looked a year or...

A knot of hair

Abi was transferred into Bristol Children’s Hospital the afternoon of Friday, 8th February. We were introduced to another consultant, who told us that they were going to ‘start from scratch’ the next day, give her the night to settle in and then assess her entire situation in the morning. We felt bolstered by this. It...

Clinging to hope

On the morning of Friday, 8th February, Abi had another CT scan – her first scan after the two operations. Taking her for this scan wasn’t a quick process for the care team; just to move her to the scanning room was a major task as all the equipment had to go with her. We...

Chasing Dragonflies

Gentle support for grieving families – trusted by schools, hospitals and counsellors

Category Archives: Living and grieving

Losing a child, two years on – fear and vulnerability

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Abi’s Black Belt

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As the sun sets on New Year’s Eve, I see hope for tomorrow

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What my grief would say if it could talk

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Coping with Christmas after the death of your child

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You are my sunshine – a birthday poem

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The final prognosis

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I dreamt of you

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A knot of hair

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Clinging to hope

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