My darling Abi,
I recall you lying on your changing mat when you were a tiny baby
Those early months just you and me while Daddy was at work
Finding my feet with this miraculous little person
Who had grown inside me for nine months
I found I would sing ‘You are my sunshine’ to entertain you
It came so naturally to sing that song, it became ‘your song’
I know why now…
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,
you make me happy, when skies were grey,
you’ll never know dear
how much I love you,
please don’t take my sunshine away….
You were my light and my joy, but now you’re gone
The light has dimmed.
My greatest fear was losing you
I could cope with anything life threw at me, but not that…
yet now I have to.
My worst fear has come true,
now what do I do?
Memories flash into my mind constantly
Like a DVD on rewind
Your birth, on a stormy November eve
How you arrived the next morning
with the sunrise
Your firsts – walking, talking, learning, laughing
Your fun-filled plans to explore the world and discover everything
Our chats, your dreams, things you achieved, places we went…
…your sudden, traumatic death…
I know you felt little pain when you passed into the safe arms of Jesus
One minute you were saying my name
the next you were saying His…
I am thankful that you passed in peace
I couldn’t live knowing you suffered too
But why does grief have to hurt so?
I look for happy everywhere
Sometimes it shines through your siblings
Or the sunrise
Or through a memory of you
But it often escapes me
Like Peter Pan’s shadow
I’m chasing the thief who stole my happiness
As your birthday comes round, again
I will imagine you as the girl you would be
A tall teen, now fourteen
Eating me out of house and home
Selfies and shopping trips
Begging for lifts here and there
Making up and breaking up
I was looking forward to all that!
But I know I’ll see you again
Which is my only comfort
Whether it’s tomorrow or when I’m old and grey
I’ll be okay as I’ll be with my brave girl again
And, although, while I wait, parts of my life will change
Our family, our home,
That everything I do will have you in mind, always…
Happy birthday, darling
22 thoughts on “You are my sunshine – a birthday poem”
You’ve been on my mind a lot this week. I cannot imagine how hard this week is for you. I pray that you are able to rest in the arms of Jesus, just like your darling Abi is doing x x
My heart just breaks in two for you. Your life must seem to be in two halves. Before ‘that’ day and since. I read your posts and can identify greatly with your torn emotions. You have a beautiful family and must continue to go on and fill their and your lives with joy. She is there with you, just out of sight xx
Beautiful poem. Thinking of you.
So, so heartbreakingly beautiful. Happy birthday Abi. Thinking of you all. Love and hugs xxx
Such a beautiful poem, but so hard to read. Thinking of you all today. X
Thinking of you today x
Many thanks Izzie xx
So sorry. xxx
Thank you xx
Happy birthday Abi. Wherever you are I’m sure there will be that beautiful smile filling up the room.
Sending you all love strength and everything else that may possibly may make today that tiny bit easier xxxxxx
Thank you Beth, that’s lovely xxx
Beautiful… Happy Birthday to your Abi…I hope you find some peace today.
I can’t help but wonder if she’s celebrating with my November birthday boy.
I hope all birthday babies in heaven are partying too xxx
Happy Birthday Abi. Wishing you comfort in her smile as you try to make it through the day, though there is no way to make it “better”.
Thank you, much love xxx
Oh I’ve been thinking of you all today. I wish I knew what to say. Much love xxxx
Thanks so much Kiran, just saying that is a comfort in itself xx
Beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
What a lovely poem, and how hard her birthday must be for you… always in your thoughts. The strange/funny/lovely thing is though that my much-missed Mum’s birthday was also the 26th Nov so Wednesday/this week’s been a tricky one for me too… Here’s to celebrating your brave girl Abi. Much love xxx
Wow really! That’s kind of nice to know, knowing I wasn’t alone on Wednesday. I hope you’re okay. It’s a pretty crappy time of year for us x
Yes, I guess it is nice. And I will now always think of Abi too on that day! xx
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