Grief has become both my friend and my foe since Abi died… I need it to feel close to her, yet loathe it for taking over me. What would your grief say?
Hi, I’m Grief.
It’s nice to meet you.
I can f*ck off, it’s not nice to meet me…?
Well be like that then.
Oh, ok, I know no one ever welcomes my arrival. As if losing your loved one isn’t enough torment, as if living without the person you loved so dearly isn’t quite bad enough, I come along and make sure your life is well and truly screwed up.
You cannot see me, smell me, touch me, or hear me, but I will crawl in to your body, make my presence known from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.
I will flow with the blood through your veins, seep through every pore.
I am a dense fog that lingers in front of your eyes, makes you feel drugged, exhausts you with the effort of carrying me around, makes you wonder who you are. Everything you…
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I think my grief would say HA! You fool. You thought I was just the loss of your sister, but I am sooo much more. I am the loss of your ability to look forward, your ability to find joy in the things you loved, the loss of your interests and hobbies. I am the source of your loneliness and the loss of your friendships, because I’m the only one who really gets it, but I’m not gonna go easy on you. I’m going to lull you into a false sense of security, just when you think you’ve got a handle on me I’m gonna hit you again with something new. I’ve taken everything from you, but I’ll keep coming back for more, you cannot escape me!
…there would probably be an evil laugh too.