Author Archives: Kelly 🌻

Double grief

Living with grief means that I often sit outside of myself and reflect on my troubled mind. I’ve recognised that my thoughts surrounding my grief are two-fold: I need to deal with the trauma, the post-traumatic stress, from both mine and Abi’s perspective. First there are my ‘selfish’ thoughts about what happened to ME, aContinueContinue reading “Double grief”

Mixed blessings at Easter

Just like all big occasions, Easter isn’t the same without Abi here. The girl who loved chocolate, egg hunts and holidays. This is our second Easter without Abi, and while we’re keeping it low key again, this year I didn’t cry when I contemplated which chocolates to buy my other children so I suppose thatContinueContinue reading “Mixed blessings at Easter”

Do you want to build a snowman?

I recently sat down with my son and daughter to watch Frozen. I realise we’re rather late as it was a Christmas movie, but at the time we weren’t keen to see it (going to the cinema was just not fun anymore). So I put it on as an afternoon distraction for us on aContinueContinue reading “Do you want to build a snowman?”

Guest blog: Collective emotion

[This article was written by my good friend Sali Green, reproduced with Sali’s kind permission] An unexplainable sadness hit a great many people on hearing of the death of Peaches Geldof. But is it unexplainable? Some feel surprised and uncomfortable that they become part of a collective grief over someone they never met. Others showContinueContinue reading “Guest blog: Collective emotion”

New life, new grief

And so, our new baby son was safely born six weeks ago. It’s taken this long for me to have the will to write again, although I’ve jotted thoughts down as they arose and have again found many things surprising. It was the perfect home birth. Four hours in labour and out he popped, smallContinueContinue reading “New life, new grief”

Press attention

At Abi’s first anniversary on 10th February, my contact at the local newspaper contacted me with an offer to run an update story on fundraising that had been done in Abi’s memory over the year. I was pleasantly surprised that he’d remembered and was happy to oblige. It would be good to once again recogniseContinueContinue reading “Press attention”

How do you discipline a grieving child?

The title of this post might seem odd. Perhaps it should read ‘How could you…?’ Why would you discipline a child who was grieving for a lost friend or relative (in our case sibling) and recovering from the trauma of that loss when all they need is love, understanding and security? We feel we areContinueContinue reading “How do you discipline a grieving child?”

An elephant in the room

  There’s an elephant in the room. It is large and squatting, So it is hard to get around it. Yet we squeeze by with “How are you?” And “I’m fine” And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter. We talk about the weather. We talk about work. We talk about everything – except theContinueContinue reading “An elephant in the room”

Say her name… but not too much, Mum!

One of the biggest challenges I think I’ve faced since Abi’s death is understanding my other children’s different reactions. Contrary to my posts about openly talking about Abi and avoiding the elephant in the room, the approach with our children has had to be carefully considered. Abi has always been in their lives. Her sisterContinueContinue reading “Say her name… but not too much, Mum!”