Just like all big occasions, Easter isn’t the same without Abi here. The girl who loved chocolate, egg hunts and holidays.
This is our second Easter without Abi, and while we’re keeping it low key again, this year I didn’t cry when I contemplated which chocolates to buy my other children so I suppose that would be considered ‘progress’. Only a flat feeling remains.
I feel low at this time in the Church calendar, as now I tend to focus on the gloom of the days leading up to Jesus’ death rather than the joy of his resurrection… I’m reminded of the painful days when we lost Abi.
The death of a child, quite naturally, has a huge impact on an entire family and the aftershocks can be widespread and ongoing. In my case, my immediate family (husband and other two children) were emotionally torn, yet we had to find a way to continue to live our lives together, finding new routines and ways to be without pausing.
It’s without doubt that our relationships with one another have changed in some ways; thankfully, we are strong and this has bonded us further together, but it’s certainly no smooth path as each of us battles with our individual feelings, worries and fears.