Having the courage to believe

This week, I attended my 8-year-old son’s parents’ evening. Like many parents at this time of year, I was keen and somewhat nervous to see how he was getting on. In the past, before my eldest child died, I was guided a lot by the grades my children achieved. Abi, my eldest child, always did very […]

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Back-to-school emotions

I love September. It’s a bit like my New Year. September is usually a lovely month weatherwise, I feel refreshed after the holidays and I’ve usually had a spring clean in readiness for the new school term. But I’m deflated this year. Last year was different, odd. I was about three months pregnant and completely […]

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Giving up the guilt about screen time

Screens – tablets, phones, computers, TVs, kindles – how much do you love yours? I’m in the ‘love them a lot but hate them a little bit too’ group. The use of smartphones and tablets in particular is such a contentious issue it seems, but we all still have them, and have come to rely […]

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Our joy and sorrow this Father’s Day

My heart can’t help but ache for my darling hubby as yet another Father’s Day arrives, his second without Abi. When we met, in 1996, I was dating his rather unsavory friend. It wasn’t serious and a bit of an experiment for me, which naturally didn’t work out. But what did work is that through […]

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An epiphany in the garden

At the weekend, I had an epiphany. As the weather was hot, we got out the paddling pool and spent time in the garden. The first time this year. At first, the children were reluctant to join in (much to my hubbie’s annoyance as he’d spent the best part of the morning getting the pool […]

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It’s our crystal wedding anniversary!

Today, my husband and I celebrate 15 years of wedded bliss. 15 years, wow! I can still remember how I felt back then, 15th May 1999; how nervous I was on our wedding day, but how certain I was too. We always mark our anniversaries. We think it’s our special day to remind ourselves where […]

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What a baby sock taught me about grief

This tiny sock, apart from being utterly cute, revealed a lot to me about how my shopping habits have changed over the past 14 months. Abi had not long turned 12 and, now that she was at secondary school, she had become more interested in fashion; New Look was a particular favourite shop of hers. […]

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Surviving grief

Surviving my bereavement is not something I feel I’ve achieved by any means, yet, but I am beginning to see that in order to survive the loss of my child, I’ve needed to find and maintain a balance between grieving and living. ‘Surviving’ feels like an unusual word to use when I consider that it’s […]

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A small request…

Please, Mum and Dad… My hands are small, I don’t mean to spill my drink. My legs are short – please slow down so I can keep up. Don’t slap my hands when I touch something bright and pretty. I don’t understand. Please look at me when I talk to you. It lets me know […]

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