5 ways to do self-care when you’re grieving

When you’re grieving, doing anything to care for yourself can seem an effort, and even cause you more stress. I’ve shared five ways I found to look after myself in the early years of grief.

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Biblical breadcrumbs, books and bereavement

  On Sunday I attended my church’s All Souls service, which is held to remember those we have loved and lost. I have been to this ever since we lost Abi. The vicar’s sermon focused on this passage. What he said resounded with me so much that I had to replicate it here for you to […]

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My teenager is growing up, and I’m the one who’s crying

My second daughter, Abi’s sister, is growing up. OK, that’s not surprising and I should be thankful, she has now surpassed Abi’s age by three years. Yet, now, aged 15, I see this young woman transformed before me. The same height as me, the same determined look in her eye, the same belief that she […]

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Sick with grief

No one ever told me that my grief would make me feel so ill. As they broke the news to us that Abi was going to die, I thought of only her, then our family… and everything about how we’d live without her. I was prepared – and expected – to feel depressed, but the physical […]

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You don’t have to ‘get over’ your grief just because it’s Christmas

It’s no surprise that Christmas is a difficult time for the grieving. For us, the period begins with Abi’s birthday at the end of November, we then have the four weeks until Christmas and then New Year, followed not long afterwards by the anniversary of the time we lost her. Next February will be four […]

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The hypervigilant mumma – will I ever switch off?

So we’ve been a bit ill again. Jake’s been the worst hit this autumn. Normally a very healthy child, he’s had a chest infection, sickness and now another cold virus that has brought him out in itchy hives. On Saturday, I was home alone with Jake and Naomi. Daddy and Joe were at the football, […]

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Social media – the friend I hate to love

I was desperate for a break. What with a new baby, my hubby having a miserable time and facing a tonsillectomy, and changing my teen daughter’s school, the last few months have been a tad stressful to say the least. I’d booked us a week in Cornwall with my two sisters and their families about […]

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Grief, selfishness and ‘me time’

One thing I’ve noticed about grief is how selfish it makes one. Rightly so, of course, as grief is a personal pain that has to be endured by the individual – there’s nothing ‘giving’ about it. We cling to the memories, we absorb ourselves in the pain of our loss, we channel our energy into […]

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Fight or flight – coping with illness as a bereaved family

My personal anxiety is much better these days although I’m still on a minute dose of anti-anxiety drugs just to help me through the first months of having a newborn should it suddenly increase with my hormone surges. It seemed sensible to do this, keeping any risks to baby to a minimum but allowing me the […]

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A picture of health

This is a picture of Abi and me on holiday in about 2011. I love the health and happiness radiating from BOTH of us in this picture. Of course, there was never any sign that Abi would have a brain haemorrhage two years later but what struck me when I saw this was not Abi particularly, […]

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