As friends and family head off on half term holidays, I’m glad to have a relaxing week ahead with my children. But I feel a slight pang of envy, as I know we are in need of a proper holiday, but with the new baby I’d not had the strength to plan one. Who needsContinueContinue reading “Memories of our last holiday together”
Tag Archives: bereavement
Tears for Abi at bedtime
Perhaps it was because I’d just told my six-year-old son that he looked a bit like Abi when he gave me a cheeky grin. It wasn’t to make him feel sad, it just slipped out. Is it bad to say things like that? I don’t know. Last night, my son was getting ready for bedContinueContinue reading “Tears for Abi at bedtime”
An epiphany in the garden
At the weekend, I had an epiphany. As the weather was hot, we got out the paddling pool and spent time in the garden. The first time this year. At first, the children were reluctant to join in (much to my hubbie’s annoyance as he’d spent the best part of the morning getting the poolContinueContinue reading “An epiphany in the garden”
Organ donation: Abi’s parting gift
As Dying Matters Week draws to a close, I wanted to share with you my personal experience of organ donation. It’s vital we feel able to talk about aspects of death like this. I have shared, in quite some detail, the process that is necessary in order to donate organs to another – a dilemmaContinueContinue reading “Organ donation: Abi’s parting gift”
Why I’m dying to write about dying
I heard on the news today that – shock, surprise – people don’t like talking about death! This type of ‘research’ irritates me. Of course we don’t like talking about death and our mortality. It’s depressing for a start, not to mention bringing up painful emotions, or making us realise we’re not getting any younger.ContinueContinue reading “Why I’m dying to write about dying”
“Abi was beautiful and clever and wonderful”
Some days I feel a heavy sense of confusion with my grief and the effort of trying to hold myself and my family together with some kind of normality. Yet, it’s often on days like this, when a sort of gloom has set in, that I receive an unexpected message of comfort. It could beContinueContinue reading ““Abi was beautiful and clever and wonderful””
Sharing stories of grief
I’m often so aware of my grief that I feel like I’m going out of my tiny mind! Each day, I live and breathe the heartache of knowing the pain that is to be a grieving mother. I’ll be doing something ordinary… ironing, preparing a meal, reading to one of my children, shopping in town…ContinueContinue reading “Sharing stories of grief”
A blob of gum
We cleaned our cars at the weekend, not a common occurrence I’m ashamed to admit especially with a newborn keeping our tired arms occupied enough, but after the recent sandy rain we couldn’t put it off any longer. However, there’s one spot in my car (the family estate) which I’ll never clean… the boot sideContinueContinue reading “A blob of gum”
Double grief
Living with grief means that I often sit outside of myself and reflect on my troubled mind. I’ve recognised that my thoughts surrounding my grief are two-fold: I need to deal with the trauma, the post-traumatic stress, from both mine and Abi’s perspective. First there are my ‘selfish’ thoughts about what happened to ME, aContinueContinue reading “Double grief”
Mixed blessings at Easter
Just like all big occasions, Easter isn’t the same without Abi here. The girl who loved chocolate, egg hunts and holidays. This is our second Easter without Abi, and while we’re keeping it low key again, this year I didn’t cry when I contemplated which chocolates to buy my other children so I suppose thatContinueContinue reading “Mixed blessings at Easter”
Chasing Dragonflies 