[This article was written by my good friend Sali Green, reproduced with Sali’s kind permission]
An unexplainable sadness hit a great many people on hearing of the death of Peaches Geldof. But is it unexplainable? Some feel surprised and uncomfortable that they become part of a collective grief over someone they never met. Others show annoyance that such a fuss could be made about one person when there are so many people suffering in the world. Both reactions are natural, as are the vast spectrum of feelings around and in between them.
Emotions can be intensified because of sad news – the fragility of life; reminding us of our own losses; love and appreciation for those around us strengthened. New life lessons are learned and our young people educated.
To those who are grieving (and those trying to understand grief) please read this incredibly insightful article. I found myself saying yes throughout reading it. It speaks for so many.
‘…the first year is supposed to be the worst. It’s all still raw. …in some ways, the second year is harder. That’s when you realise they really aren’t coming back. It’s a horrible epiphany that can coincide with everyone else imagining you’re over the worst. But as someone once said: “Grief lasts longer than sympathy, which is one of the tragedies of the grieving.’
A beautiful poem written by my older sister in a comment, which I think deserves a post of its own.
I live each day with you, understanding the pain,
Will life ever one day, be the same?
Each heartbreaking moment reliving what was,
Life as we knew it burst into dust.
I’ve been wondering if my blog might become tiring for some readers, thinking all this doom, gloom and outpouring just tends to bring people down too, so they may start to avoid it. I truly hope not, of course, and I try hard to keep my posts realistic and retain some humour or joyful reflections as well as the more sombre side.
But then I read this other blog post (below) and found myself agreeing that life isn’t all rosy and we shouldn’t feel obliged to keep jolly about everything to avoid uncomfortable, bad feelings. I’m determined to keep my blog true to my feelings, and by doing so it will show joy, pain, anger, irrationality, sorrow and everything in between, and hopefully reach someone else who is experiencing the same thing.
From The Well Written Woman blog: ‘Yesterday, someone on my Facebook page posted the quote “If you can’t be positive, at least be quiet.” I have no idea who this person was quoting, and I realize how tiresome it is to read so many negative posts every day, but really, this statement bothered me. At first glance it seems like solid advice, to stay positive, but is that the way life really works?’
To read more, click here.