My heart can’t help but ache for my darling hubby as yet another Father’s Day arrives, his second without Abi. When we met, in 1996, I was dating his rather unsavory friend. It wasn’t serious and a bit of an experiment for me, which naturally didn’t work out. But what did work is that throughContinueContinue reading “Our joy and sorrow this Father’s Day”
Category Archives: Living and grieving
Coping (or rather not!) with a tween’s grief
I feel like I’ve been winded. My tummy feels tight. I am crying. The tears started and didn’t stop. The happy feeling dissolved. My heart hurts and I don’t know which way to turn. How to act for the best. An argument with my 11-year-old daughter caused this. I have to write – I reallyContinueContinue reading “Coping (or rather not!) with a tween’s grief”
Memories of our last holiday together
As friends and family head off on half term holidays, I’m glad to have a relaxing week ahead with my children. But I feel a slight pang of envy, as I know we are in need of a proper holiday, but with the new baby I’d not had the strength to plan one. Who needsContinueContinue reading “Memories of our last holiday together”
Tears for Abi at bedtime
Perhaps it was because I’d just told my six-year-old son that he looked a bit like Abi when he gave me a cheeky grin. It wasn’t to make him feel sad, it just slipped out. Is it bad to say things like that? I don’t know. Last night, my son was getting ready for bedContinueContinue reading “Tears for Abi at bedtime”
An epiphany in the garden
At the weekend, I had an epiphany. As the weather was hot, we got out the paddling pool and spent time in the garden. The first time this year. At first, the children were reluctant to join in (much to my hubbie’s annoyance as he’d spent the best part of the morning getting the poolContinueContinue reading “An epiphany in the garden”
Into eternal sleep… turning off life support
These words were hard to write (just a month after Abi died last year), and I expect are just as hard to read. But talking about dying matters to me. I know there are other parents going through this every day – saying goodbye to their baby or child, whatever age, whether expected or not.ContinueContinue reading “Into eternal sleep… turning off life support”
Organ donation: Abi’s parting gift
As Dying Matters Week draws to a close, I wanted to share with you my personal experience of organ donation. It’s vital we feel able to talk about aspects of death like this. I have shared, in quite some detail, the process that is necessary in order to donate organs to another – a dilemmaContinueContinue reading “Organ donation: Abi’s parting gift”
It’s our crystal wedding anniversary!
Today, my husband and I celebrate 15 years of wedded bliss. 15 years, wow! I can still remember how I felt back then, 15th May 1999; how nervous I was on our wedding day, but how certain I was too. We always mark our anniversaries. We think it’s our special day to remind ourselves whereContinueContinue reading “It’s our crystal wedding anniversary!”
Why I’m dying to write about dying
I heard on the news today that – shock, surprise – people don’t like talking about death! This type of ‘research’ irritates me. Of course we don’t like talking about death and our mortality. It’s depressing for a start, not to mention bringing up painful emotions, or making us realise we’re not getting any younger.ContinueContinue reading “Why I’m dying to write about dying”
“Abi was beautiful and clever and wonderful”
Some days I feel a heavy sense of confusion with my grief and the effort of trying to hold myself and my family together with some kind of normality. Yet, it’s often on days like this, when a sort of gloom has set in, that I receive an unexpected message of comfort. It could beContinueContinue reading ““Abi was beautiful and clever and wonderful””
Chasing Dragonflies 