I wrote a post last September about how hard I found it to declutter our home. We were having a car boot sale and kept coming across things that brought back bittersweet memories. Abi’s belongings were still everywhere – a forgotten hairclip, a school pen – and I found the thought of getting rid ofContinueContinue reading “Dreams of moving on”
Tag Archives: death of a child
Coping with Christmas after the death of your child
I’m aware I’ve not written since Abi’s birthday, and there’s a reason. Like last year, I’ve found myself lost in a blur of grief and unable to write at all. It’s almost like there is so much to say that it’s impossible to write clearly. Sometimes I find that life is back in focus andContinueContinue reading “Coping with Christmas after the death of your child”
You are my sunshine – a birthday poem
My darling Abi, I recall you lying on your changing mat when you were a tiny baby Those early months just you and me while Daddy was at work Finding my feet with this miraculous little person Who had grown inside me for nine months I found I would sing ‘You are my sunshine’ toContinueContinue reading “You are my sunshine – a birthday poem”
Halloween just got scary
[I didn’t post this blog about Halloween at the time, I suppose to avoid offending anyone or to put a damper on the fun, but reading back on it, it’s certainly worth sharing. It’s not a major worry for me now, and who knows how I’ll feel about it in the years to come, butContinueContinue reading “Halloween just got scary”
Child Benefit… a sore subject for the bereaved parent!
Oh the irony. Having just had a baby, I’ve finally got round to filling out the claim form for child benefit, the same day we receive our first correctly adjusted and reduced payment (for two children instead of three) following Abi’s death 14 months ago. Dealing with the Child Benefit department at HM Revenue andContinueContinue reading “Child Benefit… a sore subject for the bereaved parent!”
Double grief
Living with grief means that I often sit outside of myself and reflect on my troubled mind. I’ve recognised that my thoughts surrounding my grief are two-fold: I need to deal with the trauma, the post-traumatic stress, from both mine and Abi’s perspective. First there are my ‘selfish’ thoughts about what happened to ME, aContinueContinue reading “Double grief”
New life, new grief
And so, our new baby son was safely born six weeks ago. It’s taken this long for me to have the will to write again, although I’ve jotted thoughts down as they arose and have again found many things surprising. It was the perfect home birth. Four hours in labour and out he popped, smallContinueContinue reading “New life, new grief”
Tie a leopard-print ribbon…
Abi’s memorial has a cherry blossom tree next to it, but it’s only young, having been planted last May with her ashes. The first small buds are starting to form ready for springtime. So, while it’s still small and not much to look at, it is a poignant reminder that life carries on… Soon thereContinueContinue reading “Tie a leopard-print ribbon…”
And then our world fell apart
It is exactly a year ago today that Abi came downstairs looking pale and complained she felt really ill. Exactly a year since our world was turned upside down and inside out. I never really imagined what this day would be like, despite people telling me ‘all the anniversaries will be hard’. Anniversaries? Anniversaries areContinueContinue reading “And then our world fell apart”
Blogging it out of my system
Since resuming my blog, I’ve had an outpouring of writing (or rather overthinking!) and have realised I’ve posted around 20 new blogs in just two weeks! Yikes! When I paused the blog some seven months or so ago, my mind had stopped knowing quite what to say. I’d managed to get Abi’s story down -ContinueContinue reading “Blogging it out of my system”
Chasing Dragonflies 