Tag Archives: grief

It’s my grief and I’ll cry if I want to…

I have a thing about crying. I find it hard to do. Always have. Before Abi died, I wasn’t really one for crying at sad films or soppy love stories, although having children certainly made me more likely to have a little cry if it was about them (school plays, dance shows etc). But inContinueContinue reading “It’s my grief and I’ll cry if I want to…”

Guest post: Saying goodbye had to be perfect (for you)

This personal and deeply moving guest post was kindly written for our blog by The Tangerine Owl Project. It recounts a grieving mother’s determination to plan a beautiful memorial for her baby daughter who lived for just 27 days. As I recall the days in the NICU and the loss of Delilah, I often wonder howContinueContinue reading “Guest post: Saying goodbye had to be perfect (for you)”

Summer term and the grieving mum

Another summer term is in full swing. Our second without Abi. So, how is it for a bereaved mum at this time of year? Last year was a fog. We were fumbling through, trying to stay above water, keeping things ‘normal’ for our other children in the sense of their school routines, dragging ourselves alongContinueContinue reading “Summer term and the grieving mum”

Our joy and sorrow this Father’s Day

My heart can’t help but ache for my darling hubby as yet another Father’s Day arrives, his second without Abi. When we met, in 1996, I was dating his rather unsavory friend. It wasn’t serious and a bit of an experiment for me, which naturally didn’t work out. But what did work is that throughContinueContinue reading “Our joy and sorrow this Father’s Day”

Coping (or rather not!) with a tween’s grief

I feel like I’ve been winded. My tummy feels tight. I am crying. The tears started and didn’t stop. The happy feeling dissolved. My heart hurts and I don’t know which way to turn. How to act for the best. An argument with my 11-year-old daughter caused this. I have to write – I reallyContinueContinue reading “Coping (or rather not!) with a tween’s grief”

Memories of our last holiday together

As friends and family head off on half term holidays, I’m glad to have a relaxing week ahead with my children. But I feel a slight pang of envy, as I know we are in need of a proper holiday, but with the new baby I’d not had the strength to plan one. Who needsContinueContinue reading “Memories of our last holiday together”

Tears for Abi at bedtime

Perhaps it was because I’d just told my six-year-old son that he looked a bit like Abi when he gave me a cheeky grin.  It wasn’t to make him feel sad, it just slipped out. Is it bad to say things like that? I don’t know. Last night, my son was getting ready for bedContinueContinue reading “Tears for Abi at bedtime”

An epiphany in the garden

At the weekend, I had an epiphany. As the weather was hot, we got out the paddling pool and spent time in the garden. The first time this year. At first, the children were reluctant to join in (much to my hubbie’s annoyance as he’d spent the best part of the morning getting the poolContinueContinue reading “An epiphany in the garden”

Into eternal sleep… turning off life support

These words were hard to write (just a month after Abi died last year), and I expect are just as hard to read. But talking about dying matters to me. I know there are other parents going through this every day – saying goodbye to their baby or child, whatever age, whether expected or not.ContinueContinue reading “Into eternal sleep… turning off life support”