To Abi, It’s suddenly your 24th birthday and each year it hits me a bit different. This year, I realised that you are now the same age I was when I had you. It’s been hard to balance that fact in my mind. At once I am transported back to those heady, happy days ofContinueContinue reading “A letter to my daughter on her 24th heavenly birthday”
Category Archives: All About Abi
Abi’s 21st birthday – heartache and heaven
It’s been three years since I’ve shared anything on here, and it’s over eight years now since Abi died, and the pain of loss is always there. Perhaps not so obviously now, but it lives in the restless nights, the stomach aches, the sudden pangs of sorrow or angry outburst. Her 21st birthday is aroundContinueContinue reading “Abi’s 21st birthday – heartache and heaven”
Cultivating joy in grief
Christians often talk a lot about finding joy in life’s difficulties and I always wondered what that meant and how on earth it was even possible. Surely God is playing games with us if He expects us to celebrate our suffering?! But I’ve begun to discover for myself what this truly means (and I meanContinueContinue reading “Cultivating joy in grief”
Does it get any easier? Grief five years on
What is grief like 5 years on? Do you ever get over it?
The baby nobody mentions
With Abi’s anniversary coming up, there’s another child I need to remember…
Remembering Abi on her 16th birthdayÂ
Having just seen Abi’s 16th birthday come and go, I realised it never gets easier. This is her fourth birthday in heaven. Abi’s 13th birthday was ten months after she died, in 2013. It felt unbearable. She was so looking forward to becoming a teenager, she’d already been thinking about what she might do. We hadContinueContinue reading “Remembering Abi on her 16th birthday “
Before and after our grief
My husband’s car is on its last legs. We need to start thinking about replacing it before we spend too much more on it. He’s put it off for far too long and spent too much money keeping it going, but I know he loves the car mostly because of the times he spent withContinueContinue reading “Before and after our grief”
A new way to mark the anniversary of our daughter’s death
Another year has rolled around since Abi was last here… on 6th February we were forced to remember the day she collapsed. On 10th February, we thought of the moment we sat by her bedside as the doctor turned off her life support and said goodbye. But mostly, we were reminded of the time when she was ‘ripped’ContinueContinue reading “A new way to mark the anniversary of our daughter’s death”
Dealing with my son’s sudden illness while grieving my daughter’s sudden death
Experiencing one of my children falling suddenly ill has revealed much about how grief has impacted me, as a mother who is grieving the sudden death of another of my children. Last weekend, my son scared us. The anxiety and fear flooded back in and we fought with everything we had to hold it together. Losing Abi was the worst thing imaginableContinueContinue reading “Dealing with my son’s sudden illness while grieving my daughter’s sudden death”
Abi’s Black Belt
On this day, two years ago, Abi fulfilled a four-year-long ambition… to earn her junior black belt in Kung Fu. She’d attended Chi Wai Academy twice a week for all those years, working solidly through her belts and badges. Rarely complaining. Always disciplined. Impressing us and her peers with her determination, skill and flexibility (touchingContinueContinue reading “Abi’s Black Belt”
Chasing Dragonflies 