Category Archives: Living and grieving

Fight or flight – coping with illness as a bereaved family

My personal anxiety is much better these days although I’m still on a minute dose of anti-anxiety drugs just to help me through the first months of having a newborn should it suddenly increase with my hormone surges. It seemed sensible to do this, keeping any risks to baby to a minimum but allowing me theContinueContinue reading “Fight or flight – coping with illness as a bereaved family”

A picture of health

This is a picture of Abi and me on holiday in about 2011. I love the health and happiness radiating from BOTH of us in this picture. Of course, there was never any sign that Abi would have a brain haemorrhage two years later but what struck me when I saw this was not Abi particularly,ContinueContinue reading “A picture of health”

The expectations of a grieving mother on special days

Now that Mother’s Day has passed, I feel I can exhale. I have a little more breathing space (until Father’s Day which is another tough one). I posted on Facebook yesterday about how hard I find the run of ‘special (bloody) days’ I face. It feels like I’m charging at each one like it’s a brickContinueContinue reading “The expectations of a grieving mother on special days”

What happens when we die? Explaining death to your child

When thinking about death we have so many questions and very few answers. It’s where the fear and disbelief stem from. Children are renown for saying exactly, and frankly, what’s on their minds. They also have questions which we can find hard to answer, especially when our grief is so raw and we feel lost inContinueContinue reading “What happens when we die? Explaining death to your child”

Loving my children after losing my child

While, of course, I loved my children before Abi died, that love has changed quite dramatically since. I gave birth to Abi, back in 2000, and it wasn’t long before my second child was on her way. She arrived when Abi was 22 months old. Back then, I worked 4 days a week and my husbandContinueContinue reading “Loving my children after losing my child”

Before and after our grief

My husband’s car is on its last legs. We need to start thinking about replacing it before we spend too much more on it. He’s put it off for far too long and spent too much money keeping it going, but I know he loves the car mostly because of the times he spent withContinueContinue reading “Before and after our grief”

A new way to mark the anniversary of our daughter’s death

Another year has rolled around since Abi was last here… on 6th February we were forced to remember the day she collapsed. On 10th February, we thought of the moment we sat by her bedside as the doctor turned off her life support and said goodbye. But mostly, we were reminded of the time when she was ‘ripped’ContinueContinue reading “A new way to mark the anniversary of our daughter’s death”

Dealing with my son’s sudden illness while grieving my daughter’s sudden death

Experiencing one of my children falling suddenly ill has revealed much about how grief has impacted me, as a mother who is grieving the sudden death of another of my children. Last weekend, my son scared us. The anxiety and fear flooded back in and we fought with everything we had to hold it together. Losing Abi was the worst thing imaginableContinueContinue reading “Dealing with my son’s sudden illness while grieving my daughter’s sudden death”

I refuse to give up on Christmas even though I’m grieving

When I’ve looked at the search terms people use to find my blog, my heart aches. These are just the Christmas-related search terms for my blog this week: ‘Coping with the loss of a child, on what should be their first Christmas’ ‘Christmas loss of a child’ ‘Christmas cards appropriate to send after losing aContinueContinue reading “I refuse to give up on Christmas even though I’m grieving”