I’m aware I’ve not written since Abi’s birthday, and there’s a reason. Like last year, I’ve found myself lost in a blur of grief and unable to write at all. It’s almost like there is so much to say that it’s impossible to write clearly. Sometimes I find that life is back in focus andContinueContinue reading “Coping with Christmas after the death of your child”
Category Archives: Living and grieving
You are my sunshine – a birthday poem
My darling Abi, I recall you lying on your changing mat when you were a tiny baby Those early months just you and me while Daddy was at work Finding my feet with this miraculous little person Who had grown inside me for nine months I found I would sing ‘You are my sunshine’ toContinueContinue reading “You are my sunshine – a birthday poem”
The final prognosis
On the morning of Saturday, 9th February, we were allowed into PICU while the doctors did their formal assessment of Abi’s condition. We knew these were ‘last chance’ tests. Abi had been in a coma for over 48 hours. She’d shown very little response since her collapse other than coughing a couple of times andContinueContinue reading “The final prognosis”
I dreamt of you
In my morning sleep, the sleep before the day begins, I saw you Clear, real, here You were standing on the landing, in the doorway to our bedroom. From my bed, I talked to you Like I used to You up and ready for the day Me rousing from sleep You looked a year orContinueContinue reading “I dreamt of you”
A knot of hair
Abi was transferred into Bristol Children’s Hospital the afternoon of Friday, 8th February. We were introduced to another consultant, who told us that they were going to ‘start from scratch’ the next day, give her the night to settle in and then assess her entire situation in the morning. We felt bolstered by this. ItContinueContinue reading “A knot of hair”
Clinging to hope
On the morning of Friday, 8th February, Abi had another CT scan – her first scan after the two operations. Taking her for this scan wasn’t a quick process for the care team; just to move her to the scanning room was a major task as all the equipment had to go with her. WeContinueContinue reading “Clinging to hope”
Intensive care … is intense
Seeing your child in intensive care is a scary prospect, it’s not called ‘intensive’ for nothing! The machines are the first thing that you notice, but you know that every wire and machine is there for a very good reason so they become less daunting after a while. I almost got used to them, evenContinueContinue reading “Intensive care … is intense”
The significance of memorial flowers
Today is Remembrance Day and war memorials all over the country are displaying poppy wreaths in memory of those who lost their lives serving our country. The Tower of London featured a magnificent and moving poppy tribute this year. It got me thinking about the symbolism of memorial flowers and what that means to meContinueContinue reading “The significance of memorial flowers”
Good grief! I had a facial
I used to enjoy booking myself in for an occasional massage or facial, it was always a nice treat, but since Abi died I’ve not been able to allow myself to do it. To relax is to let emotions come to the surface, to be able to meditate on the thoughts going through your mind,ContinueContinue reading “Good grief! I had a facial”
Celebration blues
I’ve not been blogging or networking much lately. I’ve been feeling run down, very low about Abi and generally snowed under with work and family life. I feel flat and pretty much overwhelmed as again we face more special occasions without our girl. It’s particularly busy this weekend as it was my hubby’s 40th birthdayContinueContinue reading “Celebration blues”
Chasing Dragonflies 