Picking up from my post on CPR (CPR – do you know how?), where I described the distress of Abi’s collapse, I thought I’d try to describe the panic I experienced during Abi’s transition to A&E, and how that changed to a numb acceptance that helped me deal with the hours of waiting that followed.ContinueContinue reading “Fight or flight… going to A&E”
Category Archives: Living and grieving
Just a bunch of grapes
I’ve realised I’ve started buying grapes again, and not just buying them… eating them too! Abi loved grapes. She’d come in from school and devour a bunch easily while watching TV. Ever since she died, I’ve not been able to even look at grapes. I bought some once about a year ago, just to seeContinueContinue reading “Just a bunch of grapes”
There’s no such thing as a ‘simple’ gesture
When Abi died, we were overwhelmed by the support we received from the community, from friends and strangers alike. The attention quite naturally faded away in time, but we still have moments where people go out of their way to help us in some way. These days, it seems the world is a more cynicalContinueContinue reading “There’s no such thing as a ‘simple’ gesture”
The reality of performing CPR on my own child
When Abi died, it was very peaceful and controlled. But when she collapsed at home, in our bedroom, we went from calm to extreme panic in a matter of minutes. I was reading to my other daughter, my son was lying in his bed drifting off. My husband was looking after Abi in our bedroom,ContinueContinue reading “The reality of performing CPR on my own child”
Did puberty trigger my daughter’s death?
My middle daughter came home from school yesterday with a pretty box stuffed full of sanitary towels and tampons. They’d had the end-of-year talk about sex and periods. My daughter wasn’t fussed. She’s quite happy to wait to grow up and, while she knows periods will happen at some point, she’s in no hurry andContinueContinue reading “Did puberty trigger my daughter’s death?”
National Transplant Week – Abi’s organ donation update
This week is National Transplant Week, and I’ve just changed my profile picture in support of the campaign (see here to do the same) and I thought it a perfect opportunity to share the outcome of Abi’s organ donation. At her death, we opted to donate some of Abi’s organs – her lungs, liver, pancreasContinueContinue reading “National Transplant Week – Abi’s organ donation update”
Choosing a memorial stone for your child
In my last post, I talked about the day we interred Abi’s ashes at our local cemetery, and how we had to wait some time for her memorial stone to be made. Choosing and buying a memorial stone is one of the last things you can do for your lost loved one. It’s a veryContinueContinue reading “Choosing a memorial stone for your child”
Dust to dust – interring Abi’s ashes
Following on from My Great Loves guest post about turning back into dust, I wanted to share our experience of interring Abi’s ashes. Choosing a burial or cremation is a decision I really wasn’t prepared for when Abi died. I knew she’d died and that we’d have to have a funeral, but I just didn’tContinueContinue reading “Dust to dust – interring Abi’s ashes”
It’s my grief and I’ll cry if I want to…
I have a thing about crying. I find it hard to do. Always have. Before Abi died, I wasn’t really one for crying at sad films or soppy love stories, although having children certainly made me more likely to have a little cry if it was about them (school plays, dance shows etc). But inContinueContinue reading “It’s my grief and I’ll cry if I want to…”
Summer term and the grieving mum
Another summer term is in full swing. Our second without Abi. So, how is it for a bereaved mum at this time of year? Last year was a fog. We were fumbling through, trying to stay above water, keeping things ‘normal’ for our other children in the sense of their school routines, dragging ourselves alongContinueContinue reading “Summer term and the grieving mum”
Chasing Dragonflies 