Category Archives: The Comfort Zone

What on earth do I say to a bereaved mum? It’s simple, STALL

It can seem like there’s plenty of advice about what not to do when it comes to grief. I’ve written a number of emotional posts about how some people get it ‘wrong’ when talking (or not!) to a beavered parent, such as this one and this one. While my rants are only one element ofContinueContinue reading “What on earth do I say to a bereaved mum? It’s simple, STALL”

Attending a first aid course as a grieving parent

This weekend was stressful and emotional, as well as coming down with the obligatory back-to-school cold. I finally plucked up the courage to attend a first aid course and it’s taken me some time to process what I learnt, and to deal with the memories and emotions that it stirred up. After Abi died, IContinueContinue reading “Attending a first aid course as a grieving parent”

The reality of performing CPR on my own child

When Abi died, it was very peaceful and controlled. But when she collapsed at home, in our bedroom, we went from calm to extreme panic in a matter of minutes. I was reading to my other daughter, my son was lying in his bed drifting off. My husband was looking after Abi in our bedroom,ContinueContinue reading “The reality of performing CPR on my own child”

National Transplant Week – Abi’s organ donation update

This week is National Transplant Week, and I’ve just changed my profile picture in support of the campaign (see here to do the same) and I thought it a perfect opportunity to share the outcome of Abi’s organ donation. At her death, we opted to donate some of Abi’s organs – her lungs, liver, pancreasContinueContinue reading “National Transplant Week – Abi’s organ donation update”

Dust to dust – interring Abi’s ashes

Following on from My Great Loves guest post about turning back into dust, I wanted to share our experience of interring Abi’s ashes. Choosing a burial or cremation is a decision I really wasn’t prepared for when Abi died. I knew she’d died and that we’d have to have a funeral, but I just didn’tContinueContinue reading “Dust to dust – interring Abi’s ashes”

Guest post: Saying goodbye had to be perfect (for you)

This personal and deeply moving guest post was kindly written for our blog by The Tangerine Owl Project. It recounts a grieving mother’s determination to plan a beautiful memorial for her baby daughter who lived for just 27 days. As I recall the days in the NICU and the loss of Delilah, I often wonder howContinueContinue reading “Guest post: Saying goodbye had to be perfect (for you)”

Into eternal sleep… turning off life support

These words were hard to write (just a month after Abi died last year), and I expect are just as hard to read. But talking about dying matters to me. I know there are other parents going through this every day – saying goodbye to their baby or child, whatever age, whether expected or not.ContinueContinue reading “Into eternal sleep… turning off life support”

Organ donation: Abi’s parting gift

As Dying Matters Week draws to a close, I wanted to share with you my personal experience of organ donation. It’s vital we feel able to talk about aspects of death like this. I have shared, in quite some detail, the process that is necessary in order to donate organs to another – a dilemmaContinueContinue reading “Organ donation: Abi’s parting gift”

The whirlpool of grief

A friend shared an insightful diagram with me called ‘The whirlpool of grief’, which I thought would be good to share here (see illustration far below). As soon as I saw this, it made perfect sense to me. I recognised the many elements to the ‘process’ that were illustrated. I call it a ‘process’ becauseContinueContinue reading “The whirlpool of grief”