You are my sunshine – a birthday poem

My darling Abi, I recall you lying on your changing mat when you were a tiny baby Those early months just you and me while Daddy was at work Finding my feet with this miraculous little person Who had grown inside me for nine months I found I would sing ‘You are my sunshine’ toContinueContinue reading “You are my sunshine – a birthday poem”

I dreamt of you

In my morning sleep, the sleep before the day begins, I saw you Clear, real, here You were standing on the landing, in the doorway to our bedroom. From my bed, I talked to you Like I used to You up and ready for the day Me rousing from sleep You looked a year orContinueContinue reading “I dreamt of you”

Good grief! I had a facial

I used to enjoy booking myself in for an occasional massage or facial, it was always a nice treat, but since Abi died I’ve not been able to allow myself to do it. To relax is to let emotions come to the surface, to be able to meditate on the thoughts going through your mind,ContinueContinue reading “Good grief! I had a facial”

For instructions on grief, please read this leaflet…

Dear Doctor, You’ve stood with me on this journey You saw my daughter being rushed into your ICU You stabilised her You kept her young body going Gave us hope after hope that she might wake up You showed empathy when that hope was gone We’re sat together in the treatment room Now so largeContinueContinue reading “For instructions on grief, please read this leaflet…”

Halloween just got scary

[I didn’t post this blog about Halloween at the time, I suppose to avoid offending anyone or to put a damper on the fun, but reading back on it, it’s certainly worth sharing. It’s not a major worry for me now, and who knows how I’ll feel about it in the years to come, butContinueContinue reading “Halloween just got scary”

The heartache of decluttering after my daughter died 

Ever since I had children, I’ve been bagging up clothes and toys for either car boot sales or charity shops, although it always seems the more I ‘recycle’ the more ‘stuff’ comes back into the house! It’s been a long time since we did a car boot…  I say ‘we’ as normally Abi and IContinueContinue reading “The heartache of decluttering after my daughter died “

Just a bunch of grapes

I’ve realised I’ve started buying grapes again, and not just buying them… eating them too! Abi loved grapes. She’d come in from school and devour a bunch easily while watching TV. Ever since she died, I’ve not been able to even look at grapes. I bought some once about a year ago, just to seeContinueContinue reading “Just a bunch of grapes”

There’s no such thing as a ‘simple’ gesture

When Abi died, we were overwhelmed by the support we received from the community, from friends and strangers alike. The attention quite naturally faded away in time, but we still have moments where people go out of their way to help us in some way. These days, it seems the world is a more cynicalContinueContinue reading “There’s no such thing as a ‘simple’ gesture”

Guest post: Returning to dust

My Great Loves is a blog I came across on WordPress Reader. This military wife and mother lost her darling first born son, ‘Gift’, age 12 in a tragic accident. She blogs anonymously about her ‘loves’ – her husband and children, her grief and family life. I have been moved by her touching honesty andContinueContinue reading “Guest post: Returning to dust”

Coping (or rather not!) with a tween’s grief

I feel like I’ve been winded. My tummy feels tight. I am crying. The tears started and didn’t stop. The happy feeling dissolved. My heart hurts and I don’t know which way to turn. How to act for the best. An argument with my 11-year-old daughter caused this. I have to write – I reallyContinueContinue reading “Coping (or rather not!) with a tween’s grief”