Surviving grief

Surviving my bereavement is not something I feel I've achieved by any means, yet, but I am beginning to see that in order to survive the loss of my child, I've needed to find and maintain a balance between grieving and living. 'Surviving' feels like an unusual word to use when I consider that it'sContinue reading "Surviving grief"

Olympic dreams

The start of the Winter Olympics has brought back memories of Abi's excitement for the 2012 London Olympics. It is hard to know she is not here to watch this with us, no doubt she would have loved it. She followed the London Olympic events with interest and I can remember watching the amazing openingContinue reading "Olympic dreams"

Tie a leopard-print ribbon…

Abi's memorial has a cherry blossom tree next to it, but it's only young, having been planted last May with her ashes. The first small buds are starting to form ready for springtime. So, while it's still small and not much to look at, it is a poignant reminder that life carries on... Soon thereContinue reading "Tie a leopard-print ribbon…"

You were so very special…

Another poem we chose for Abi's church service, read by another uncle. You were so very, very special And were so from the start We held you in our arms But mainly in our hearts. And like a single drop of rain That on still waters fall, Your life did ripples make And touched theContinue reading "You were so very special…"

Fundraising … far more than charity

A few days after Abi died, we were already thinking about how we could somehow give something back to the people who helped her, and as a way to remember her life. It's hard to explain why, while sat in a hospital waiting room with my daughter still with us, I had this urge toContinue reading "Fundraising … far more than charity"

To a Butterfly (1801)

A poem we chose to be read at Abi's church funeral service, read beautifully by one of Abi's uncles. It was one we'd read to her in the past and reminded us of her. I've watched you now a full half-hour; Self-poised upon that yellow flower And, little Butterfly! indeed I know not if youContinue reading "To a Butterfly (1801)"

Abi’s dragonflies

I've just been browsing an old computer file of Abi's artwork... random stories, computer drawings and images saved over the years. How interesting to find a file called DRAGON FLYS. It was created on 9th February 2009 ... wow ... four years before Abi died. She would have been nine years old then. There's noContinue reading "Abi’s dragonflies"

And then our world fell apart

It is exactly a year ago today that Abi came downstairs looking pale and complained she felt really ill. Exactly a year since our world was turned upside down and inside out. I never really imagined what this day would be like, despite people telling me 'all the anniversaries will be hard'. Anniversaries? Anniversaries areContinue reading "And then our world fell apart"

When tomorrow starts without me…

We chose the complete version of this well-known poem to be the only reading at Abi's brief cremation service. Finding a reading which meant something and was not overly sentimental was very difficult. Nothing seemed to be fitting for Abi's 'final word'... nothing could be. But this poem spoke to us, it was both aContinue reading "When tomorrow starts without me…"

Guest blog: To my grieving sister… (a poem)

A beautiful poem written by my older sister in a comment, which I think deserves a post of its own. I live each day with you, understanding the pain, Will life ever one day, be the same? Each heartbreaking moment reliving what was, Life as we knew it burst into dust. Is there a light,Continue reading "Guest blog: To my grieving sister… (a poem)"