Category Archives: Living and grieving

Dreams of moving on

I wrote a post last September about how hard I found it to declutter our home. We were having a car boot sale and kept coming across things that brought back bittersweet memories. Abi’s belongings were still everywhere – a forgotten hairclip, a school pen – and I found the thought of getting rid ofContinueContinue reading “Dreams of moving on”

In pursuit of happiness (while grieving)

As I was waiting for my son, I stood next to another mum with a young boy. She laughed and smiled as she tickled her toddler’s tummy and said cheerfully to me, ‘Doesn’t this good weather make you feel so much better!?’ I gave one of my template smiles in response. She was a lovelyContinueContinue reading “In pursuit of happiness (while grieving)”

Why we watched the solar eclipse, 20th March 2015

Losing a child changes you. It’s changed me certainly, and my thoughts and opinions about ‘what matters’. The solar eclipse wasn’t something I’d bothered to get excited about (it’s hard to be excited about anything these days), but I was surprised about how that opinion was turned around. However, when yesterday, the day before theContinueContinue reading “Why we watched the solar eclipse, 20th March 2015”

How TV alienates the grieving

I saw a trailer on Sky the other day for the next big thing in hospital drama – Critical. A fictional series based on saving (or not) the life of a patient filmed in real-time (over an hour). The filming looks slick and the actors serious. It’s sold as being ‘ground-breaking and the most realisticContinueContinue reading “How TV alienates the grieving”

Valentine’s Day – celebrating love in loss

Valentine’s Day. A day to celebrate love that’s turned into yet another excuse to waste spend money on stuff, just like Easter is all about chocolate and Christmas about presents. St. Valentine was the patron of love, young people and happy marriages – not of supermarkets and card shops (or abusive relationships if watching ’50ContinueContinue reading “Valentine’s Day – celebrating love in loss”

Children’s books about death and dying

There are numerous children’s books out there which focus on death and dying. I thought it would be useful to share our favourites with readers. We have always loved reading to our children, it’s a part of our daily bedtime routine. When Abi died, we turned to books as a way to share our feelings,ContinueContinue reading “Children’s books about death and dying”

Losing a child, two years on – fear and vulnerability

Two years on from the day we lost Abi (10th February) is approaching and I feel like I’m spinning in an endless cycle of grief. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m not. Over and over and over again. I’ve come to realise that as well as grieving her, the girl, my first-born, I’m grievingContinueContinue reading “Losing a child, two years on – fear and vulnerability”

Abi’s Black Belt

On this day, two years ago, Abi fulfilled a four-year-long ambition… to earn her junior black belt in Kung Fu. She’d attended Chi Wai Academy twice a week for all those years, working solidly through her belts and badges. Rarely complaining. Always disciplined. Impressing us and her peers with her determination, skill and flexibility (touchingContinueContinue reading “Abi’s Black Belt”

As the sun sets on New Year’s Eve, I see hope for tomorrow

As per my post earlier this month, most people will understand that this time of year is very difficult for me and trying to cope with Christmas festivities without Abi is something I (and my family) have again had to bear and get through. New Year’s Eve is equally painful. I don’t even want toContinueContinue reading “As the sun sets on New Year’s Eve, I see hope for tomorrow”